It's been TOO long!

It’s Been TOOO long!

I’ve been neglectful of my blog the last couple months. There have been some frustrating & trying times, but there has also been some wonderful times. We spent 9 days in Michigan on the lake, which was glorious. Things have changed for me in the music world. I’ve been battling a chronic cough, which no doctors seem to be able to diagnose or cure =( Hopefully today at the ear nose and throat specialist.

Karen from SugarSmax had asked me if I would fill in for her while she was on maternity leave, which I gladly said I would! I expected to take over for her at the end of September maybe Mid October. Well, she got put on bed rest last week, meaning I took over 4 days later. It’s wonderful, but also a little stressful, at least until I have a better handle on the music. If I wasn’t hacking up a lung every 5 seconds it would take a lot of the pressure off =) Still, it’s great exposure, an opportunity to learn a TON of new music, and most of all a chance to play some KICKASS music with my dear friends!

What else? Well, the wellbutrin seems to still be helping me from becoming a total crazy person. I made the mistake of going off it for a few days, thinking maybe I didn’t need it anymore. Boy was I wrong. I ended up having a really bad “episode”, anger, sadness, thoughts of suicide, Steve almost took me to the hospital after I ended up going to the “bad place”. It’s a term I’ve coined for when I totally shut down, curl up, go inside myself, cry, and no one can get to me. It’s scary, I hate it there, I hate losing control. Needless to say, I haven’t missed a day since going back on it.

I’m sure I still need to seek psychiatric help, but there’s this fear of finding out there’s really something wrong with me… and even more, a fear that they’ll tell me NOTHING is wrong with me, and that I’m just a crazy bitch. Which would truly suck =)

Anyway, onto the weightloss… I am sitting pretty at 144 pounds, 19 to go to the goal. Not to shabby considering I haven’t really been working out, just watching what I eat.