Inspired to find my Authentic Self

Inspired to find my authentic self

Dolly Parton is my all time favorite celebrity. She was on Oprah Friday. The two women who have inspired me so much, together, it was great. Dolly isn’t necessarily my favorite singer, or songwriter…but she is a perfect example of a good person, and how I’d like to to be perceived one day. Both she and Oprah keep it real, they are down to earth, funny, positive, generous, and so absolutely comfortable with their true selves.

Isn’t that what we should all be aiming for? Comfort with our true self. I know I’m finding it difficult to even identify who my “true self” is. A lifetime of people trying to dictate who I “should” be, and disapproving of who I really am, has left me a little detached from myself.

Rebellion pushed me over the edge into a radical version of me years ago. This came about just to prove that I would do whatever the hell I wanted no matter how much others tried to control me. Add that to the list of things that definitely doesn’t work for self acceptance.

After that I decided I would give a go at becoming exactly what everyone else wanted me to be. I left my outrageous self behind, became that perfect mundane little person that seemed to me to be the only way others would finally be happy with me. In one way it worked, everyone else was perfectly satisfied, but me? I was miserable, living in a skin that wasn’t mine. Newp definitely not the answer.

So here I am, trying to find that middle ground. My authentic self, just for the sake of being me. No needing to prove anything to anyone else, no needing to rebel, no need to try to fit the “description”… I think I may finally be closer to finding that centered, balanced place where everyone is happy. Honestly, anyone who doesn’t like who I am right now, just needs to move on. Their loss, because I’m finally turning out pretty cool =)

Both Oprah and Dolly are an inspiration. They started out just like the rest of us, struggling financially, messed up families, every day average people… but they didn’t let it stop them, no excuses. They kept at it, achieved their goals, stayed true to themselves, learned from their mistakes, and they are fantastic women. They haven’t let the money and success go to their heads.

Their success doesn’t come from the fame and money. I see their greatest success in their self acceptance, that they have found their true joy, they haven’t let anyone else dictate their personal definition. THAT is what I would like to find in my life. Don’t get me wrong, the fame and fortune would be a nice bonus, lol, but I don’t think that it defines true “success”. Watch some TV or read a magazine and you’ll see that there are a TON of unhappy, completely messed up rich and famous people. On the flip side, some of the happiest people I’ve ever met are completely unknown and hardly have two dimes to rub together. We must all learn to find our joy within ourselves, no matter where we happen to find ourselves in life.

So here are the positives in my life right now: I have a beautiful family, a husband who loves all of me (even the bad stuff), I’m becoming more aware of who I am, what I am capable of, and what I am willing to put up with from others. I’m healthy, and getting healthier all the time. I am finally becoming confident in my ability as a musician, performer, and my knowledge and experience in the business. Which means I’m not going to take any more BS from those trying to dictate my future entirely. The band I’m currently working with has more potential than just about anything I’ve ever been involved in in the past. I like the me I see starting to solidify from the mist of my messed up past.

I hope that someday, I can be an inspiration to someone else to find their authentic self. I’m not there yet, but I’m enjoying sharing the journey to “me”. It’s exciting, it’s so satisfying… you should try it for yourself!!

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