The Final Push

The Final Push

So, it’s just under 2 months till the end of the year.

Time to re-evaluate the time table and see if I’m going to make it. A few questions to ask myself:

1 - Have I worked daily towards reaching my goals?

2 - Have I taken advantage of every opportunity presented to me that puts me closer to my goals, and opens up roads to NEW aspirations?

3 - Have I balanced my personal needs with the needs of my family?

4 - Have I caused no harm to others while doing everything I can to reach the target, in other words have I gotten to where I am fairly?

5 - Do I have time to finish before January 19th, 2011, or do I need to adjust the time period.

6 - What can I do to maximize efficiency these last 2 months, and what will I do when I get there?

There are probably more questions I need to ask myself. Before I answer these questions, I would like to review what I have accomplished. I have reached the goal of a quality working music project, 2 actually. I have taken steps towards establishing my name as a solo artist and original songwriter in the Charlotte area. I have lost 37 pounds (so far). I have taken care of both my physical health AND my mental health by finally admitting I needed help and actually getting treatment. My family has reached a point of stability and happiness finally after the trauma of a move in the middle of my children’s teen years. My house is in order (OCD helps in this matter). Steve and I are both putting forth the effort to not only enjoy what we already have together, but to also learn and grow and nurture our love to new heights. All in all, I would say that my 40th year has been, and will always be remembered as a major turning point in my life.

I really like who I am. I like how I treat people. I like how the world sees me inside and out. I truly believe that the more I appreciate the gifts I’ve already been given, the more that comes my way without even asking. I am so very very blessed, thankful and happy.

Now answers….

1 - No, not every day. I had some very low points this year, times of wanting to just give up, but something inside wouldn’t let me. So I’d say “most” days I did at least 1 thing to get to at least one of my goals.

2 - I do believe that I have taken advantage of every opportunity I recognized. Sometimes I just didn’t see it till the time had passed. But, for the most part…yes.

3 - There have been a few weeks lately where I was very intensely involved with getting my music career back up and running. But, now that I am mostly settled, I am back on the homefront. Steve was very helpful in picking up the slack while I needed my time. The children are flourishing, and I could not be more proud. Steve and I are doing better than ever. So yes, I’d say not only balancing, but jumping up and down and doing flips on the tight rope with ease!

4 - For the first time ever, I can honestly answer this question “yes”. I haven’t always been the nice one with everyone else’s feelings in consideration when making decisions. I used to try to get what I wanted at all costs, which is probably why I never did find myself where I wanted to be. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes this year, hurt some feelings, but the difference? I admitted my error, and sincerely apologized. So, yeah… “yes”.

5 - The million dollar question. Do I have time. The last 16 pounds to the magic number in 10 weeks… 1.6 pounds a week? HELL YES I have time! The last round of P90X starts tomorrow *flexes guns*. Before and after pictures to come… I may even get brave and post the ones from my birthday last year when I was sporting an extra 37 pounds, was out of shape, and…a lot squishier.

6 - Easier said than done: Eat right, drink water, less alcohol (ouch), stick with the fitness program, but most of all BELIEVE IT, SEE IT, and just f’ing DO IT!

Time for some random musings now that the bidnez is all covered.

I knew that this week would be the start of this final push. Getting to that magic number “125” was never entirely about being skinny and looking better. Yes, as an entertainer, and as a woman it’s always nice to look how I want to look but… This year has been so much more than that shallow goal. This has been a year of looking deeply inside myself, who I am, who I want to be, how I got here, how I didn’t get to where I thought I would, how my mental issues have held me back, how I will continue on the path to self understanding… yep, it’s been a big one, and a big change. Reaching that tangible goal was more about setting out to do something fairly monumental, and sticking it out to the end, actually doing it, not stopping short, no excuses, no quitting. The reward I get from knowing I did what I set out to do will be so much greater than seeing my ass in a pair of size 3 jeans. (although, I do like the sight of a nice ass in a pair of jeans…at any size).

It’s crazy how you can find inspiration, and help even when you are not looking for it specifically. In fact, I think that it’s often the people you meet, or the things you come across when you aren’t expecting it that often can make the most impact. This is why we must always keep our eyes and ears open. God, or the universe, or whatever you believe in usually knows what you need when you ask for help better than you do. If you already knew the answers of how to get where you’re going, you’d be there and wouldn’t be asking in the first place…

So, we hit up the Carolina Ren. Faire this past Sunday. Who’d have thunk that a day at the faire could have any kind of impact other than just a day of fun and memories with my family. Well… there are several examples of how one can find inspiration when not looking. Someone wanted to send me a message, and ok ok ok, I heard it loud and clear, stop shouting!

First off, what a beautiful day. The girls went off on their merry way, money in hand, and fairy wings over their pea coats. So frigging adorable.

Steve, our friend John and I studied the schedule of shows, and plotted out which we wanted to see most… somehow we ended up at the hypnotist show, and yep I got up on the stage. Was always curious. What a weird thing, but it was fun, and apparently funny as the dude had me thinking Steve had been lost on a deserted island for months and I just found him in the audience =) I found out later that he also suggested that every time Steve wink at me, I’d be all over him like when we were first in love (here I thought we were just having a nice day) but it did work, and it was wonderful. In fact I should send him a thank you note, because late that night…omg…anyway.

We saw Dead Bob, and I was Bobitized…and we saw three Tortuga Twins shows. I got to play their “Helen” in one of the skits, where they all three tried to “woo” my heart. Hell if it were for real I probably would have been woo’d by all three, at once if they were into that kinda thing (ok, kidding but still… when you have three men in velvet tights standing with all their glory shakin’ in your face, the mind wanders). Soooo, onto my point. As an entertainer myself, I am fascinated at how they can get an audience so deeply involved in their show. I took note of how these three men seemed to genuinely be having a great time together, and with the audience. The confidence, and the pure insistence that people get with the program, awsome. I want to learn this skill. I want to get over being afraid people will ignore me, that they don’t like me, that they think what I’m doing is stupid (in a bad way)…. I find myself feeling braver to take risks and put myself out there after watching these shows.

So… that left me thinking that I had gotten all I could from that day. Fun with family, fun with our friend who is town visiting, managing to involuntarily (but willingly) be involved in 3 different shows, providing the children with a memorable cultural experience AND finding inspiration for my entertaining goals… but wait there’s more!

Who should friend me on facebook …Raphael Tortuga (R. Mordant Mahon). This made me feel special, and I found myself wanting to investigate this interesting person. So, I did what any good facebook stalker does, and I completely trolled his profile =) I certainly didn’t expect to find that he is a life coach, and among other things an author of a book about manifesting ones goals (I have to admit that I was initially drawn in by the title “Why real women drink straight tequila”… I happen to be a tequilla swilling girl myself. Although I’m not allowed to drink it without a chaperone, as I get really friendly with everyone and my clothes fall off…) Anyway, this lead to an interesting conversation, which lead to another book (Crush it) all. right. when. I. needed. it: The day before I hit the road running towards the last 10 weeks before my 40th birthday. Yeah, I’m still a little weirded out by it, but, I’m going with it. I’m gonna read these books, I’m gonna go to the book signing I was invited to, I’m gonna see why this was plopped in my lap this Tuesday, November 9th, 2010. Maybe there’s more, maybe this is it, who knows. But I’m gonna find out =)

So, here’s the deal. Set goals, stick with them, check yourself, adjust when needed, keep your eyes & ears open, realize you don’t already have the answers, be brave, be confident, be grateful, love yourself, love others….and mostly find the joy in all things, and live your life fully. It’s the only one you get, and it’s yours, claim it!