Well, we finished week 3 of P90x with flair, but have been delayed starting week 4. It's all my fault. I'm not adjusting well to the meds, my period, extreme sadness, self medicating with alcohol that didn't mix with the new metabolism and meds...it's been a disaster. My self esteem is shot, I'm worried that I let down my new band before we even had our first rehearsal. The only upside is that I'm in such a mess that I have no appetite, and I've lost 5 pounds this week.
The morning anxiety seems to be escalating, I can't get to sleep at night, but can't seem to get any energy during the day. I keep reliving some bad moments during the drinking thing the other night, over and over and over in my head. I've been waking up in the night thinking there are people in the bedroom, scared and panicked, and I actually though I heard a voice say "Where were you last night"...it sounded so real. Am I cracking up? I just need to make it to Monday, to talk to the doctor, this is no way to live.
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