My Love/Hate Relationship with Spanx

Having babies does horrible things to a woman's body. Our skin is stretched out, our muscles are weakened, our boobs are sent south.... Sure, plastic surgery can fix it all, but damn that stuff is expensive and hurts like a mother. I absolutely love my store bought boobies, and eventually I'd like to purchase my 18 year old belly back. In the mean time, I have turned to the fancy dancy ever so popular Spanx.

If you've never seen them, they are basically footless nylons, that come all the way up to your bra. (Legg's also makes a version that are much cheaper. I like them just as much) They hold things in, and create this wonderfully smooth belly, with no muffin tops or rolls. I love the result I get from wearing them, but there are some definite downsides.

First off, trying to get the damn things on. This should always be done in complete privacy, because I'm sure it looks much like trying to put a whale in a wetsuit. I pull, straighten, adjust, lose my balance, cuss & wiggle. By the time they are properly on my body, I am winded, and sometimes a little sweaty. But, they look great, so it's worth the effort.

Secondly, always make sure you use the bathroom before you put them on. Otherwise you'll be going through it all over again shortly, because you need to pull em down to go. There is a trap door in the crotch, that if you're brave you can try to use to pee, but seriously, it's too small, and you will more than likely end up with wet Spanx.

Thirdly, no matter what, they slowly slide down your back, creating this "tire" effect under your bra strap and the top of the Spanx. So, I find myself pulling the back up fairly regularly. I'm quite certain they look much better from the front than from the back, but who cares, I only see the front in the mirror.

If you find yourself with that little "bloopie" over the top of your jeans, and are tired of your underwear creating ugly panty lines, try Spanx (or the cheaper leggs version). They really look great. You will love how you look, but hate the effort it takes to wear the damn things.