Magic Erasers are the greatest thing ever invented.

The past few days have been crazy.
-Friday we arrived home from a week in MI
-Saturday I relocated my scrapbook room into the empty half of my music room (this took most of the day). Now it's my "Shannon Cave", my creative sanctuary, I love it.
-Sunday was a long rehearsal with Restless, exhausting, but SO FUN & productive.
-Monday I went to Costco, got gas & the oil changed in the Exploder, washed the exploder, got groceries, did laundry & dishes, and cooked a full blown home made meal.
-Tuesday (today) I decided to wash the front windows and front door. That turned into 9 hours of cleaning all the trim, the porch railings, gutters, sofets, garage door, the upstairs front windows & trim, the porch furniture and sprayed off the cement. WTF got into me?

Now, I have to say that magic erasers are the most amazing product ever. The front of my house looks brand new, everything is fresh, sparklie clean & white. I tried the power washer last year, and it didn't do squat, the black gunk didn't come off anything. But without any elbow grease, the magic erasers return things to new. My neighbors spend thousands of dollars getting their porches and trim repainted. Hundreds to get a crappy power washing job. I spent a total of $7.50, and some time and my house looks just as good. Got a little excersise and some sun as a bonus.

After dinner with Steve, I thought maybe I'd just dust a little. That turned into cleaning the dining room, front living room, downstairs bathroom, foyer, trim, doors and the great room. 3 more hours of cleaning. That is a total of 12 hours cleaning today, seriously what is wrong with me? Who does that? I actually had fun, and enjoyed it, and I'm looking forward to doing it again tomorrow.

I guess it's another sign of how outstanding I feel lately. Having my house reflect my mood is important to me. Everything in order, taken care of. Maybe it's a manic episode, maybe it's my OCD making an appearance... if so, I'm getting a shit ton done, so I'm not going to complain. I just hope that the down turn doesn't happen.

The plan for tomorrow is to do the rest of the downstairs windows & trim, clean the gutters & sofets around the sun room, scrub down the patio furniture, doors and cement. Steve is going to put together the new smaller table and chairs for the breakfast nook. If I can sneak it in, I want to clean the kitchen so it's all pretty for the new furniture. That will lead to cleaning the sun room, I'm quite certain.

Thursday is my first therapy session with Dr. Fisher. I'm nervous. My head is no place to be mucking about. Is it really a good idea to stir up all that old stuff? Do I really want to have to discuss the happenings of my childhood, the bad relationship with my mother, the completely stupid stuff I've done, my issues with self medicating in the past with alcohol and drugs? I don't know if I do. It's all been tucked away nice and safe somewhere in the deepest parts of my mind. Maybe it should all stay there, maybe it needs to be brought up again so I can finally resolve it all for real. That's a lot of "maybes".

What is giving me the courage to go is the fact that my life has improved so much just from getting on Wellbutrin. How much better can it get if I can finally unload all the bullshit from the past? How much more will I accomplish when I am finally free from the craziness in my head? All I want is to be a better mother, a better wife, a prolific songwriter, healthy and happy as can be.

It's about 8.5 months till my 40th birthday. The weightloss goal is on track. I didn't anticipate that I would take such control over my health, both physical and mental. But the momentum generated by setting some simple goals, following through & seeing results is incredible. Things beyond my imagination could be on the horizon, and I want to be ready. Add in the progress in my music career and it's a picture of a life headed in the right direction.

I feel like the troubles in my life are being magically erased, I feel fresh and new, sparklie clean. Just like my house, there's a lot more to do, but if I work at it every day, eventually it will all get done.